Wednesday, July 6, 2011

money Money MONEY!!!

Ugh so here i am having worked steadaly for an entire year i am again unemployed. I have job opportunitys waiting for me in florida so im not at all complaining  im just struggling a bit right now.. My mom has been a huge help and i am very grateful for that. Im here looking for different ways to make money fast but its not so easy. i will NOT give up though, i am a dilegent hardworking woman and i believe in myself  =)

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Done.

Im so annoyed right now! everyone seemes to have an attitude with me today and i have no idea why. I want to punch them all in the face!!!   I started here with no friends and im pretty sure ill leave here with no friends at the rate this is going. I call and check up on everyone well FUCK THAT! im not calling or checking up on anyone else unless it has to do with buiseness. Fuck friends! i dont need em'.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Doubting Myself As usual......

Ugh so i dont know what it is but every now and then i got into these bouts of depression about my love life. Now to be perfectly clear i am NOT a emo type of girl, i dont cry and i definitly dont get my feelings hurt but lately i have been on this inner quest for true love in my life. On this journey i have met the sweet guy whos all too attentive, The bad boy who steals a a heart with just one look and drops you just as fast,  the long distance cutie who has a way with words,the ex who u cant quite seem to let go of and the friend from highschool who you always had a crush on but didnt have the guts to make anything of it. From all of these very different men i have learned many new things about myself, im so damn complicated lol. Not having sex is the best thing i could have ever done for myself. Since the last time i had sex it was dull and emotionless i couldnt put my finger on it at first but ive figured out that it is because i was not in love. Sex without love is impossible for me, although it may an inconvienence for other girls my age i think it compliments my traditional values. Im not gonna lie after being completely tricked and used by HIM i feel a bit less confident, even  just a little less me. That whole situation made me question everything i have ever known about love and so now im here, back at square one. Im not afraid to say I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM DOING!  I am just so afraid of the many unknown elements when it comes to love and relationships. Im not a bad person, i try to do my very best at any task im givin but it doesnt seem like enough. I m moving very cautiously right now and its working pretty well so im content i guess im just hoping one day the right one will come along and when he does ill instanly know its true love. The stuff of fairy tales  -_*